Transition Timelines I feel are, frankly, inspiring.
They show someone’s transformation from identifying as the sex they were born with, to embracing who they really are, and moving into the next phase of their life.
However, one thing tends to bother me about them.
The large transformations, i.e. the ones where after a year or so of hormones the girl gets plastic surgery done on her face and body, are never really explained financially.
Something I feel that isn’t necessarily talked about all too often is the financial necessity to transition in the way so many men and women have. There’s a lot of talk about the staggering rate of unemployment within the transgender community, but there’s no talk about what that lack of money actually means in regards to a transgender person’s transition. The focus is on the problem itself, not on the people affected by it.
I also feel like transgender women in particular who tend to work in the sex industry are chastised for making the decision to work in said industry more than anyone else. Mostly by people who aren’t acknowledging the fact that so many go into the industry because of a lack of financial security that’s based in discrimination, not just a recovering economical climate.
Though what I feel more than anything else is that no one is talking about the bottom line. That to a transgender woman, not having the money to afford hormones, a wardrobe, makeup, hair removal, sexual reassignment surgery, etc… doesn’t just mean being homeless.
It means having to live, or look like the man you know you aren’t.
Now don’t get me wrong, dependent on the country you live in, or even just the area you may live in, you could have free resources available to you to transition. There’s the possibility that you may be able to at least halt the production of testosterone that is hacking away at your femininity as each day passes while you’re living in that cardboard box.
That doesn’t hide your five o’clock shadow, though. That doesn’t provide for you a dress, or a pair of women’s shoes rather than the running shoes you may have settled for. A lot of the time, that won’t pay for a voice training coach to help with that gruff testosterone induced pitch, or name changes, or a new driver’s license, or anything deemed “cosmetic” even though these are things that any woman is expected to have going for her to be taken seriously in one way or another.
It takes away a lot, and although it may seem trivial to some, it really isn’t. Women all over the world, cisgender or otherwise, love to look their best. They enjoy getting their hair done. They enjoy feeling sexy. They enjoy feeling confident in their skin, and in their body, not just comfortable.
What’s sad is that transgender women are expected to just accept the possibility of one day being able to feel comfortable, and anything past that is asking too much…it’s especially sad when you consider that gender dysphoria becomes more severe the further your body masculinizes.
"I can understand having hormones paid for through your insurance, but Facial Feminization Surgery? Laser Hair Removal? Why should they pay for that? You should just be happy to be on hormones."
Not being able to feel confident in yourself as a woman because of other’s perceptions takes away the ability to enjoy yourself in ways any other woman would, and it makes transitioning in general, or having any confidence at all in yourself that much harder.
And that’s just emotional costs. For a lot of people who can’t get jobs because they chose transition over misery, with what you can write off in free resources, comes an onslaught of expenses that every other person has to pay for ―assumingly with the job you can’t get because of the medical transition you’re undergoing for free―. Giving new meaning to the phrase “nothing in this life is free.”
So how is this all related, and why exactly am I writing about it?
Because money to a transgender person can be the difference between living a lie, and finally setting yourself free. It is the difference between someone seeing you as you know you are, and seeing you as a freak. It is the difference between living happily without other’s judgments, and living every day under the guise of the public.
Because transgender people as a whole are denied job opportunities all too often that not only cripple their financial, and housing security, but their psychological well-being.
I’m writing about this because there seems to be a lot less understanding for the actual person than there is this image of what transgender “is.” People see pictures of transsexuals before and after their operations, but have no understanding, or sympathy for what that actually entailed…financially, and emotionally. They don’t think about what happened in between before, and after.
When you think about it, women in general in this world are told their whole lives that being pretty is what’s truly important. When even cisgender models are insecure about their bodies, is it any wonder that so many transgender women feel even more desperate to attain their femininity than their cisgender counterparts?
And is it really all that surprising that so many transgender women get into the sex industry when no one else will give them a chance for hire when the money they earn gives them the opportunity to provide for the medical, and societal changes that are necessary just to exist?
Because if it isn’t, why is everyone judging them for it?
Anonymous asked: Edie, I like that you give love to your man, and he gives you love in return. There are people out there who just expect love, and give none. Thanks for setting a great example for the human kinds.
he is a sweetheart, and honestly one of the best things in my life. i feel very blessed to have found him, and to be with him. (◡ω◡✿)
Anonymous asked: pre-everything mtf. I've been trying to come out to friends I trust but sort of hit this invisible wall and fall into panic attacks whenever I try. How did you first come out, and to whom? How accepting have your parents been?
i just started wearing makeup one day, and then after that i started wearing women’s clothing, etcetera. i came out in one way or another to my best friend, and talked to him immensely about how much i had considered HRT and everything as well, and he helped me a lot with that. i was never too concerned about anyone’s opinions other than his though, and my fears were more internal than anything else.
Anonymous asked: can you fuck me please
hunterwolfgara asked: heya as always a big fan and i just wanted to say i really love your new hair ^_^
thank you so much!! it has been quite a big change for me, but i am welcoming of it, and looking forward more to being comfortable in my natural hair color.
Anonymous asked: you're so beautiful omg, ~jealous of your cheekbones~!!!!