Anonymous asked: You mentioned age of transition being a big factor in ultimately determining ones chances of passing - how old is 'too old' in your opinion? (just on average; obviously YMMV)
it’s all on genetics.
typically, before 40.
Recently I was discussing the problems transgender people face in society with my boyfriend, and why a lot of transgender women resort to working in the sex industry to provide for themselves, and fund their transitions.
The catalyst for this was a confrontation I had with a trans friend who was stating that transgender people who have to resort to that are making bad life decisions even though they may have no other choice, and was crucifying those girls who were forced into this life because of the society they live in.
I was sort of shocked initially because for me, this is a personal matter. Not only do I know a lot of transgender women who have worked as escorts, or work in the sex industry, but I work as a camgirl. My personal feelings caused me to see this somewhat as an attack, but I tried to shove them down long enough to understand a different point of view than my own.
Throughout discussing things with him though, a variety of misconceptions came up. Although I don’t like to use labels such as cisgender and all of that all too often, I feel that in this specific instance it’s necessary to convey a point; my white, cisgender, heterosexual, and heteronormative lover failed to see that the America that he lives in is not the same one that I live in. It wasn’t by his own fault, either.
After discussing the discrimination transgender people face while highlighting the actions transgender people have attempted to do to fight for our rights, things started to piece together for him, and also for me.
In about the last 10 years in America, he could only find one documented case of a transgender person suing a corporation for discrimination, and actually winning. It has been reported that 90% of transgender people who have come out have faced discrimination in the workplace. Transgender people are unemployed at a 200% higher rate in relation to cisgender people, etcetera…..
This boils down to a few things. The fact that transgender people as a whole are not being adequately represented in the media, the media’s lack of actually wanting to take advocates seriously, and a general lack of healthcare provisions for transgender people seeking treatment.
All of this really bothers me because it highlights one very important thing that has always bothered me:
Transgender people most often aren’t taken seriously in regards to activistism groups, and as individuals because passable transgender people don’t want to come out, become activists, or reveal their past because there’s no reason for them to do so. The majority of transgender women for example that become activists are unpassable, and become activists because they face discrimination that passable transgender women no longer face daily. Transgender people who pass don’t see a reason to fight for change because they have been assimilated into a life where they no longer have to face said discrimination.
Now being transgender isn’t limited to people who are either hypermasculine, or hyperfeminine. Being passable, and attractive as the gender you’re physically transitioning into is a goal, and a hope, but not a necessity, or confirmation as to who you are. Personality traits as well as interests, and aesthetics are different for everyone.
That being said, since transgender women are more often the ones who do not pass without extensive work/general effort, and they’re also the ones who make up the majority of transgender activists, it’s no surprise that the media uses unpassable transwomen to fuel the agenda that we’re all just freaks with something wrong with us. They refuse to take us seriously because the people representing us in their eyes wouldn’t be perceived as women, and thus wouldn’t know what they’re talking about.
“That thing doesn’t even look like a woman. How could it be one?”
“You expect me to believe that just because he put on a dress, he’s a woman now?”
Generally this concept is disgusting at best, but I digress. I’ve spent a lot of time thinking of ways that transgender people can offer transparency without sacrificing themselves, or their individual safety, but have come up blank.
I keep trying to tell myself that every major group that has been discriminated against has had to sacrifice things to offer progress, and gain rights. At the end of the day though it’s a problem that can’t easily be solved because once you’ve gained the ability to be passable, divulging your sex is almost entirely unnecessary.
As a transgender person you don’t have the luxury of hiding for all that long before you decide to transition, and it’s also not as easy as you might think to hide your past. To actually be able to do much of anything you would have had to transition young, work your ass off, be passable in most every way, and become a fairly successful person. At which point to enact change you would then have to come out, and face discrimination from a large amount of people anyways. Throwing everything you worked for out the window.
Even negating the thought of similar consequences, the pre-requisites you would have to reach to even get to that point, as well as the general amount of transgender people that exist, the amount of people who can actually do much for positive change is a fairly low one.
It’s all just bullshit.
I understand that no one that has sacrificed that much, and worked that hard would want to come out as a transgender woman because of the stereotypes that exist about us. You wouldn’t want to transition into a beautiful woman, and then after it’s all said and done, be seen as a tranny. At the same time though, I can’t see any other way to actually do anything.
It may be true that you will always be transgender, but that’s just personal acceptance. I’m honestly starting to lose hope. My boyfriend who is a soldier, who defends and loves his country is horrified by this, and is in about the same position as I am.
If you really think about it, it’s easy to see why we’re treated the way we are.
so after years of having one of the worst phones ever, i finally have an iPhone 5! i’m really excited as lame as that may sound. i’ve had the windows phone that does absolutely nothing, and has no apps for quite awhiel.
i also finally have instagram which is amaaaazing!!!! i’m going to be using that a lot. if you’d like to follow me, my username is Vaingory.
if there are any apps or anything you’d recommend, or you’d like to tell me your instagram, or whatever please feel free to do so. ♡
tamagotchi asked: could you please talk about your kyary pamyu pamyu concert? i'd love to know how was it ;_; i love kyary so much <3
it was….well, it was!!
it was decently fun, and she was adorable in person. it was a little awkward at times since whenever she spoke japanese, a translator would come on the speakers, and she would just scream “ENJOYYY???” and “YAAA!!!!” constantly ahaahahaha. i was just glad i was with crisilla.
Anonymous asked: A simple question. At what age did you star transitioning, as in taking hormones? It's just that you look like you started when you were 12 or something.
i started at 21. :)