i would just like to say to all of the autogynephiles, transvestites, sissys, pantyboys, and other like-minded identifying people that i as a transgender woman do not consider myself the same as you, and i do not appreciate your bullshit attempts at trying to talk to me because i “know what you’re going through.”
my transition is not a fetish, nor is my transition sexually arousing to me.
i am not seeking out the medication, treatments, surgery, and life that i live because i like being a “sissy”, “humiliated”, a “slut” or anything else of that nature.
stop fucking messaging me trying to be bffs on the basis that we are somehow leading similar lives. we are not.
i am a very open-minded person, and probably one of the most accepting people that i know. however, that all goes out the window the moment you compare what i do, what i live with, how i live it, and the process by which it happens to anything that you go through.
i did not dance around in panties in my room hiding away from the world my “humiliation” whilst getting a hard-on. i did not get “sissified”, or put on striped socks to get men to use me “like the slut that i am.” my identification as a woman is not to be compared, nor is it to be synonymous with the terms “submissive”, “weak”, “powerless”, or “demeaning”.
the reasons that i live my life in the way that i do are not in any way, shape, or form the same reasons as to why you like to shave your legs, and wear panties/stockings underneath your pants.
to all of the people who may identify as to what i’ve listed above, i would like to state that i do accept your fetishes, or choices in life in regards to such as is. it is not my place to tell you what to do, or how to do it, and by all means if it gets you off then good for you.
i am, however, done with the idiotic connotation that because i was born a male, and have transitioned to female, i am somehow alike to you and your fetishes.
i do not see being a woman as demeaning.
i do not see myself as humiliating.
i do not see myself as anything derogatory.
the next time that one of you tries to imply any of the above, i’m going to sternly, but politely suggest that you burn in hell.
thank you, and have a lovely evening.
genuine question time:
as a transwoman, i don’t get incredibly offended when someone uses the term tranny. however, as a person, i don’t get offended by much in general.
to others within the transgender community, how do you feel about the terminology? do you use it? if not, what thoughts come to mind when someone does?
Anonymous asked: Chasers are people who are only interested in a trans person because they have mismatched genitals. Their sole reason for wanting to date/have sex with a trans person is because they are a woman with a penis or a man with a vagina. In your case he doesn't sound like a chaser at all. People need to get out of the mindset that just because a guy is attracted to a trans woman, it doesn't automatically make him a chaser.
alright, so after waiting awhile on my post, and reading both the responses via the post and in my ask, i think we can come to the consensus that to everyone a chaser is just a guy who wants to use a transwoman like a human sex toy.
the latter statement you mentioned has been up for debate though. a lot of transwomen actually believe that if you like the fact that they have a penis, or like the fact that they’re transgender at all, that makes you a chaser.
personally i agree with you, but i’m open to opposing arguments, and don’t agree that any man who may even slightly be interested in me is a chaser, seeing as what we can all agree the term actually means. not every guy is like that i don’t think.
so as usual it’s about midnight, and i’ve eaten too much pizza, and have forgotten what day it is. at this point i am posting on various different forums online because what else am i going to do?
now tonight i’ve been thinking a lot about ‘chasers’, and how we [as transwomen] avoid dating them for one reason or another. now in itself i’ve received a variety of feedback about this, but with the feedback i’ve gotten another question has started to pop up:
what is a chaser, and how do we define it?
now the entire reason that i posted this question in the forum that i did was because i’m dating a guy right now that i really, really like who has a preference for transwomen. he was engaged to a transwoman, and has had a preference for dating them since he was fourteen.
now in itself regardless of whether or not you would consider him a chaser, he’s a sweet guy. he considers me a woman just like any other, and is a total gentleman about pretty much everything. to him, it’s more that he may like asian women, short women, thin women, and transwomen. so even if he was a chaser, i probably wouldn’t mind.
however it caused me to think about how great this is going with this guy, and how it’s gone better than the (i suppose relationships) i’ve had in the past, or the dates i have been on, with men who don’t have a preference for transwoman, but like me because they find me physically attractive.
so i have two questions for all mah sistas out there who see this in the transgender tag, or on their dashboard, or just you know wherever. they are as follows:
1) to you, what is a chaser? how do you define it?
and 2) is it better to go out with someone you know will most certainly like your ‘package’ so to speak, or is it better to go out with someone who it might not go over well with at all?
also i do realize that not all transwomen haven’t undergone sexual reassignment surgery, and not all transwomen are fine with the genitals they may have been born with. so i suppose this question is more for pre-op transgender women, or women who don’t care to have sexual reassignment surgery, or whoever this may apply to.
i also realize that this issue effects transgender men as well as transgender women, but i feel that the objectification, and fetish for transwomen is much larger than that of the fetishization of transmen, which will probably yield me the most relatable answers when posting this in the tags i have chosen.
tonight i spoke with this guy who i have had an undying love for ever since i first saw his gorgeous face. as he sort of looked like a cross between a musketeer, and orlando bloom, i lovingly gave him the name musky.
now musky is one of the most attractive men i have ever seen. it was for this reason that i was so incredibly surprised when i discovered that he had been “stalking” me, and threads that i have made in various forums, for about a half a year now.
we finally ended up having a lovely conversation together via a public forum for quite awhile just getting to know each other a bit better, and it was obviously amazing, but because this is the internet the entire time this was happening there were men being either rude, or completely perverted, flirting with me as well as treating me like an object the entire time i was trying to speak to my dashing man.
now seeing as this is the internet, and i am in no way shy about my body, or my life, i am fairly used to a variety of comments. however this was honestly the first time that i thought about equality within the transgender community, what a lot of transwomen want, and what it actually means. because although many people may feel braver behind their keyboard it’s a sad thing to say that said bravery just helps them get their honest point across.
i am referencing transwomen specifically in this post because although most people want equality within the transgender umbrella as well as within the LGBT community, transwomen have both the barrier of women’s rights as well as transgender rights between them, and their perceived finish line. also being a transgender woman, i can only really speak from my own experience, and perception anyways.
often times you’ll see transwomen speak about how they want to be accepted as a woman, or how they want to be treated as such, incredibly badly. to be stealth, to be normal…those sorts of things.
personally, i think that’s a fairly reasonable thing to want.
the only problem with that is you shouldn’t be trying to cross the barrier of “manhood” so to speak, and end your race to success at the finish line that is the current treatment of women.
the finish line shouldn’t be being treated like a woman is today.
the finish line should be being treated like a person.
a lot of women, mainly feminists, don’t like transwomen for this reason. to a lot of feminists we are asking to be treated in a way that they want to exonerated from.
i’ve talked about this quite often in a variety of ways. how we as transgender women want to be treated a certain way, or accepted a certain way. however… i never quite realized what i did until tonight.
i mean, for women, feminism is a vehicle in which to become accepted as equals, essentially as human beings in general, and that makes a lot of sense.
african american people had movements in which to bring equality, and to end racism as much as they could anyways, so that they could be treated as human beings. which makes a lot of sense as well.
various kinds of people have sought out equality among themselves as well as their fellow people for quite awhile now. thanks to those people we are, although not as close as we may like to be, nearing equality for everyone.
so why exactly do some transgender women want to be treated like a woman today that does not have equality?
it’s odd, the more you think about it, the more you realize that a lot of transgender people are fighting to be seen as a label, or a female archetype.
it’s also conflicting because we’re taught that people will hate us for being ourselves, but without embracing who we are we’re just adding an extra barrier between us, and the finish line that is being seen as a person. a human being.
this is honestly baffling me right now. i’m very well aware of the fact that a lot of transgender women may continue fighting the olympian challenge that is equality, and just leap into the feminist movement right after they’ve crossed the bridge that is “womanhood”, but still.
why are we putting up this extra barrier when we already are women, and more importantly, people?
is it because we’re afraid of being seen as different?
is it because we can’t think of a different way, or are we just plain afraid?
tonight i was treated amazingly by a gorgeous man because he had a crush on me. he knew my personality, and liked me as a person. albeit he stalked me a bit, but still.
at the same time i was also treated like a piece of meat by various men who just saw me as a woman.
in any sort of relationship, be it a friendship or otherwise, the person is going to grow to like, or even love, you. someone grows close to you, and develops various feelings for you when they get to know you as a person.
it’s the same thing as when you get comfortable with your body, or who you are. you don’t see yourself as any specific label. you just see yourself as you.
when i think back to every positive experience in my live involving another person, i can honestly attribute every occurrence to the person’s fondness of me. not solely on my small boobs, my genitals, my frailty, my hair color, or anything else of that nature.
every instance in which they praised those things, and solely those things, was a negative one. being treated like a piece of meat, a dildo with a woman attached, being seen as an object, etc…
although i haven’t exactly known this guy for all that long, and i wouldn’t say there are any sort of strong feelings associated with him specifically at this time, it made me wonder:
when equality doesn’t even mean being an equal, why exactly are we settling for it?